


Pretty. Weird. | Brendon Urie/Panic! at The Disco

by thmmrs



Category: Panic! at the Disco
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-02-04
Updated: 2016-03-01
Packaged: 2018-05-18 04:40:52
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 6
Words: 6,232
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5898625
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/thmmrs/pseuds/thmmrs
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Life can be hard when you're the sister of a famous bassist. But life can even get harder when you're touring with the band of your brother with their latest album. But life can be the hardest when you're starting to fall in love with the lead singer of the band, one of the best friends of your brother... </p><p>Note 1: I didn't want to hurt Sarah, so I'll just pretend she doesn't exist.<br/>Note 2: Yes, the cover isn't from the era the story takes place.<br/>Note 3: Yes, Emma is fictional.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Big Brothers, Best Friends

"Dallon, quit it!", I shouted but it didn't sound faithfully. When he finally stopped and I was laying on the floor laughing completely crazy. My brother had been tickling me again and again, since we were small.   
At this moment Brendon came in. Apparently the other members of the band were back from their short trip to the amusement park they found. The look on his face turned from amazed into a laugh. "Dallon, you're a bad big brother, do you know that?", he said helping me up.  
"I'm the best big brother any girl could have", Dallon responded. I coughed pointedly. They both looked at me and grinned.  
"Actually I came to tell you that we're going to eat something. Do you wanna come with us?"  
"Of course we will", I said quickly.  
"Sorry, I forgot. When someone's saying 'eat', you're the first, right?", Brendon laughed.  
I tried to look offended, which made him laugh even more.  
"Oh, come on", he said and made his way our of our small kind of living room in the tour bus.  
Dallon held me back. "He is still my friend", he said quietly. He had a serious look on his face.  
"What are you talking about?", I asked confused, although I had an assumption what he meant.  
"You know exactly well what I'm talking about", my brother said and followed Brendon.  
Dallon was right. I really made close friends with Brendon through the tour of Panic! At The Disco, the band of my big brother. For the first time I was kind of allowed to come with them. Usually they don't want to let girls come along. They always say they wouldn't be able to concentrate on shows, but I was sure this was just a joke. But this time, Dallon suggested to give me a chance, because I really got close to all of their members. Brendon was the first one who agreed, as I just noticed when I thought of this situation again. And that's probably also the thing Dallon was just talking about, I thought when I followed them to a pizzeria near the bus. The others where cheering loudly, but I remained silent and thought of Brendon. Actually, he wasn't bad. We always had come along very well, but for the last weeks we were getting really close. Dallon seemed to notice this and now he's worried. Well, not worried, he just wanted to show that he's still my brother. Okay, maybe a bit worried. It wouldn't be easy for him if his sister would date the lead singer of his band. But why not...I was wondering again why Brendon didn't have a girlfriend. He had been single for quite a long time now, I noticed. And he didn't look too bad...and was always in a funny mood...I tried to get those thoughts out of my head. We were finally there and I hadn't talked the whole way. Dallon looked at me with this don't-dare-it-look on his face as we were sitting down. I hesistated for a moment, but then I decided that I didn't have to listen to my older brother anymore and sat down next to Brendon. He was looking up to me and smiled. I looked over to Dallon and saw him rolling his eyes.  
"You know what I'm always wondering about?", I started, "somewhere in this city have to be all of your fans who are coming to your concert later. But you still can go to restaurants without being recognized."  
But it was Spencer who answered. "You know what?", he asked me.  
"Um, no", I answered.  
"I keep questioning this myself, too", he responded and we all had to laugh. You'll always have fun with these boys, I noticed this already.  
"Why didn't the others came along actually?", Dallon asked. He was talking about the other people being with the band on such a big tour. Guys looking after the technical stuff and such things. I didn't think there were so much of them actually. But I was stunnned when I was introduced to all of them.  
"They don't like us, they said. They're ashamed being seen with us", the cutie next to me said. No, I didn't just think cutie. Sorry. Brendon said this, of course.  
"I can understand their position, actually", I said following the joke. Brendon gave me a slight slap on my head for this comment and laughed.  
"Not that I want to destroy your hate, but they've been eating lunch earlier because they're already rigging up our stuff", Spencer said still laughing.  
"Oh man, do you always have to destroy everything?", Brendon asked shaking his head.  
"I'm really sorry, bro", Spencer responded.  
"Different topic", I said clapping my hands. "What do you guys want to eat?"  
Brendon looked at me trying not to show his laugh. "As I said before..."  
"I know, always thinking about food", I responded and now it was Brendon who was slapped.


	2. Love

The concert Panic! played in the evening was great as always. I had been to a few concerts of them before of course, but it was a different point of view when you're touring with them and watching everything from behind. The process was the same every concert. I knew when they would play which song and I also knew when Brendon would take his shirt off. But this time it was different. It was an awkward feeling and somehow I couldn't stand it. I ran outside and back to the tour bus because I couldn't abide it. There was no chance to explain this, but I felt too uneasy when I saw him taking his shirt off. It's just Brendon, I kept telling myself. One of your brother's best friends. I went to the small bathroom in the bus and locked the door. When I looked into the mirror I saw tears streaming down my face. What had changed? Why had I fallen in love with him? Why had my feelings changed so much? I kept questioning myself all of these things, when I was sitting on the floor. I couldn't tell how long I was sitting there. I had thought of going back to the concert and acting like nothing happened, but I didn't think that this would be the right choice at the moment. Maybe I should have gone back there, I thought, when someone knocked on the door. Okay, so they were finished. I tried to catch something before, but I couldn't hear anything of the concert inside the bus, so I had no chance. "Emma?", someone called from outside the room. It was Dallon, I noticed his voice. "Is everything alright?"  
Maybe I should talk to him. There was no choice to talk to someone from the band or team. The first thing they'll probably do is telling Brendon that I had a crush on him. But maybe telling Dallon was okay. It would be suspicious if I told him everything was fine. Plus the fact that he had noticed it anyway...  
I unlocked the door.  
"What has happened?", he asked as he locked the door again and sat down next to me. We were more sitting upon each other...the space inside here was much too small.  
He looked worried when he saw my face. I had cried a lot and probably didn't look good covered in make-up which was all over my face.  
"You were right, I guess...", I began and hoped he would understand. "You know...at the concert...I couldn't stand it anymore in this moment...Dallon, I'm so unsure, I don't know how to behave now...", I said and started to cry a bit again. My brother layed his arms around my shoulders and hugged me. At least he wasn't angry with me or something like this. Not that it made anything easier, but...well.  
"Hey, I know. That's why I told you this earlier. Although I wasn't really fair. Love is not a choice...", he said and I sighed.  
"Stop crying", Dallon went on, "we will manage this, okay?" I nodded because I didn't know what else to do. But I felt better in some way. It was a good choice to talk to Dallon. He really was a great big brother, he was right. I could always come and talk to him if something bothers me.  
"Emma? Dallon?", I heard now Brendon's voice outside the cabin. "You in there?"  
I tried to sound confident when I answered. "Everything fine!"  
Dallon got up again and smiled at me again. "I won't tell him. But he will find it out soon anyway", he whispered to me so Brendon wouldn't be able to hear anything. Then he went out again, but Brendon luckily wasn't able to see me, because I was somewhere behind the door in this smallest room in the whole world. That's what I felt like.  
"She's okay", Dallon told Brendon, "she was a bit sick, but she's already getting better."  
"Should I...?", Brendon asked hesistant.  
"No, it's okay. She will get out there in a minute", my brother said and I heard him walked away. I also got up and looked in the mirror. I really looked terrible. I waited a minute until Brendon followed Dallon. I tried to get my make-up alright, but it wasn't easy. In the end I was taking it all of and putting new one on. It looked as nothing has happened. Now I just had to hope that nobody would notice that I had cried, I thought as I went out.  
I made myself ready to face Brendon when I went into our small living room. I heard loud voices, they were all discussing the concert. But when I went in everybody was looking at me and asking if I was alright. I nodded and kept telling them that I felt sick, but that it was okay again. I avoided Brendon's eyes and sat down on the floor next to them. They really seemed to be worried about me, but they were starting to talk about the concert again. I was sitting there and listening. It seemed like they were playing a really good show tonight. I tried to look over to Brendon to watch his face, but he looked at me. He pointed on me and formed something that looked like "You fine?" I nodded and smiled. He smiled back, although his face looked like he was thinking something different...The other boys were just discussing who was going to take a shower first. Dallon won and got up. When he went out he stopped and stroke my head.  
"Go to bed. You look tired", he said, but in his look was definitely something more. I nodded and also got up. I managed to wish the other one's a good night – also Brendon. Everyone got a hug and I went to my small bunk. I had managed to give them the impression that I was feeling alright again. But when I had closed the little curtain that parted my bunk from the other one's, I started to cry silently.


	3. Awkward Morning

When I woke up the next morning I felt terribly tired. But this was normal for me, I always felt like this when I cried the last evening. Also the concert and the stress yesterday were too much for me. But somehow I also felt relieved...although I didn't really know why, I felt strong enough to behave just as usual.  
When I was completely awake, I noticed that we were driving. So we drove to the next city for another concert, which was Boston.  
Maybe I should stop the tour now...maybe I should just drive back home and join my family. I wouldn't have to face Brendon every day – because I really wasn't sure if I could stand this. But actually I couldn't do this I thought when I was just brushing my teeth in the small cabin called bathroom. Actually I couldn't leave all of them. And it would be just more suspicious to leave now. I could say I was feeling too bad to stay, yes, this was a possibility. But if I really left now I couldn't control anything anymore. Nobody knows what will happen...only Dallon knew how I felt, but with these boys...you never know. So I would stay. "It will be okay", I told myself in the mirror, before I left. Actually I looked better than I felt. Thanks to my make-up...  
I went to the front and asked our driver when we will be there. He said there was one hour left, so I went over to the small living room we had.  
"Good morning", I said and smiled towards Dallon and Brendon. They were both just sitting there and talking. I wondered what it was about...When I came in they both looked up to me and smiled widely.  
"You feeling better now?", Brendon asked. I sat down next to him and nodded. It was not that I wanted to sit down next to him, this was just the only free seat...most of the time we sat on the floor here anyway. We simply were too much people for this bus.  
"Yes, I'm okay again", I told him and smiled. Gosh, was this man beautiful. I immediately felt bad for thinking this and stopped smiling.  
"You sure?", Brendon asked, still looking at me.  
"Yeah, I just thought...", I answered. I looked over to Dallon. He was looking at me with this be-careful-look on his face. It was an awkward situation. We were all looking at each other, but nobody said anything.  
"Everything alright with you guys?", Spencer's voice suddenly came from the door and we all looked around. "I just thought...you were so quiet."  
"Yes, yes everything alright...", Dallon said. Amendment: Very awkward situation.  
"Um, you guys wanna eat something?", Spencer asked, "we just made breakfast..."  
"Yeah, we're coming", Brendon said getting up. But he was looking at me with an very serious look on his face which had also something...sad?  
I was confused when I followed them...what had this been? I was sure that Brendon was bothered by something and this was very unnormal for him, normally he didn't give a damn about his problems...at least at the outside.  
\---  
"Emma?", Spencer suddenly asked from my left – his fork half way to his mouth. I noticed that I had been watching Brendon all the time.  
I looked over to Spencer and smiled.  
"Yes?", I asked, but he didn't smile back. I looked over but the others – especially Brendon – hadn't noticed us and were still chatting loudly.  
"Can I talk to you later?", Spencer asked quietly. Damn, did he notice my feelings? Dear God, please don't let him know anything.  
"Of course...", I answered, but I wasn't doing this fake smile anymore.  
"Don't worry, it'll be okay", Spencer said and turned around to chat with the others again. What was this? Did he...did he know something? No, this wasn't possible...or was it?  
\---  
When we had finished breakfast I was in a brilliant mood again somehow. We all tried to help washing the dishes...but it was the craziest idea ever. The kitchen wasn't much bigger than our bathroom...we could hardly move, so things were going a bit crazy.  
"Come outside for a moment", Spencer said to my ear. I looked around and saw that they were all having fun, so nobody would notice us being outside for a moment. I followed him and was glad to be out of this kitchen where we were definitely too much people. We were already in Boston, so we could walk around outside the bus for a while.  
"So...you probably know why I wanted to talk to, don't you?", he asked as soon as we were away a few metres.  
"No, I don't know", I lied, although I knew very well what he wanted to talk about. Brendon, for sure. Would he also tell me that I should be careful and should stay away from him as Dallon tried to? Well, this won't be easy when you're on tour with him...  
"You do...Brendon...and well, I don't do thing like this usually, but...", he stuttered. Why did he stutter? If he wanted to tell me that he noticed my crush on Brendon, why didn't he just do this?  
Suddenly he stopped and looked at me. "You know, I really hate talking about this, but I noticed that you kind of like Brendon..."  
I couldn't lie. But if I told him that he was right, the whole bus would be informed very soon, especially Brendon. But I had though he might ask me this since he told me that he wanted to talk to me. And actually I had no choice.  
"I do, kinda...", I told him, "but...I know how stupid this sounds, but maybe you can just keep quiet? And talk to nobody about this?"  
"Emma, I would never do this", he said, "but...I'm sure Brendon doesn't know about your crush yet, but does Dallon know? He was looking at you in a...special way."  
Wow, I didn't know that Spencer was this considerate.  
"Um, yes and no. So Brendon doesn't know, of course, but Dallon does, you're right." It was too late anyway so I started to talk freely about this.  
"Anyway", Spencer said and looked at me again, "I just wanted to tell you one thing..."  
I looked at him and waited. What would I hear now?  
"Talk to Brendon. You won't believe me at the moment, but this will make things much easier." Then he turned around and walked back to the bus, I stood there and looked after him. What was he talking about?


	4. Alone Together

Slowly following Spencer back to the bus, I still thought about the comment he just made. Why should it get easier when I was talking to Brendon? It didn't make any sense at all.

When I went back into the bus there was just as much chaos as before. Spencer was back in the cabin/kitchen helping the others. But I didn't have the power to join them again...

I stopped for a moment when I was walking past. Brendon, standing directly next to the door, paused and looked over. None of us was talking, we were just looking into each other's eyes for a moment. But then I just looked away and went on to my bunk. I closed the curtains and stared to the top. What should I do?

Apparently I fell asleep at some time, because when I woke up again, the bus was standing. A little bit confused I got up and walked through the bus, about to ask one of the others where we were, until I remembered that we were already in Boston.

But I didn't see anyone which was even more confusing. I looked on my watch and noticed that it was nearly time for lunch. When I walked back to my bunk to sit down I saw a small piece of paper pinned next to it.

"Went for lunch. Left you sleepin. Love, Dallon", was written on it. Great. So they were having lunch right now and I was left here and had to stay hungry. But suddenly a thought came to my mind and I walked the last few steps to the back where Brendon's bunk was. I knew I shouldn't do this, but I kind of had to look into it. I pulled the curtains apart and couldn't move for a few seconds. In front of me was lying nobody else but Brendon. He had his face turned towards me, but his eyes were closed and he was breathing slowly, so I assumed he was asleep. As quietly as possible I closed the curtains again and walked back to the front.

"Emma, wait", I suddenly heard and it was nobody else but Brendon who just said this. I refused to let a little "fuck" out of my mouth and walked back to him. He hadn't moved, but he was watching me eyes wide open.

"I...well I thought I was alone", I said feeling how I blushed as I looked at him.

"Yeah, I noticed", he answered smiling and getting up.

So he wasn't angry about what I was about to do. I felt much better now beside from the general tension of talking to him.

"So what about the others?", he asked while getting up and walking to the kitchen. I followed him and explained how I was left back here.

"Mhm, they told me, but I was too tired and not even hungry so I stayed here", Brendon said and got himself a glass of water. He offered me one, too, and I nodded.

Suddenly another idea came to my mind as he handed me mine.

"Did they tell you when they'll be back?", I asked.

"Not really, but I suppose in around half an hour", he responded and emptied his glass. Oh, that was perfect.

I grabbed mine harder and took a deep breath.

"Would you mind talking a bit? I think I should tell you something...", I said and watched him anxious. He seemed to be quite surprised, but he didn't consider long.

"Yeah, sure. Do you wanna sit down?", he asked me. I nodded and we went to our 'kind-of-living-room'. I sat down and hoped he didn't take the seat next to me, but he did. Great, now it would be even harder to tell him that I had a crush on him. Brendon looked at me expectantly.

"I don't exactly know how to start...", I said and didn't look at him but outside the window instead.

"Start with telling a story", Brendon said smiling slightly, "That's the easiest way."

I nodded and thought about something. Then an old one came to my mind, which I remember as it was yesterday. It was the day when Brendon and I met for the first time.

This was in 2009, which was already two years ago. At this time I was still living with my parents, I was only 19 back then. Dallon had moved out around six years ago already, because there's a huge age difference between the two of us. But on this day he came over to my parent's house and said he wanted to tell us something important. What we didn't know was that he was bringing Brendon with him, because actually this was the day when he told us he would join Panic! on tour. But as silly as I am, I didn't hear them arriving. So they were already sitting with my parents down in the living room when I ran down the stairs and into the living room shouting nothing else but "Mom, do we still have toilet paper anywhere?" This is the thing I wanted to remind Brendon of now.

"Do you remember when we first met?", I asked him.

He started laughing at once. "How can I not? You were shouting for toilet paper."

I joined his laugh, because this situation really was one of the most embarassing things I had experienced by now.

"I know...I didn't know you were there already. But anyways, do you still remember the conversation we had with the others after this embarassing thing?", I went on.

"I do. But why?", he said.

"I think we both took a fancy to each other, didn't we?" Actually I had no clue if he did, I was just talking about myself. But he nodded and smiled at me.

So this was a good point to start. I took a deep breath and started to explain.

"Well, this hasn't changed until today. I think we can say, we got really close friends, especially in the last weeks...but in some way it has changed. I had talked to Spencer earlier and he told me it would be much easier if I told you. I didn't get it so I thought I would just ask you. The thing I told him was...well, I started to like you even more. I'm really starting to fall in love with you. Now you know." I finally had told him but I couldn't look into his eyes. I was scared of his reaction, but he didn't say anything, he just hugged me instead. But was this an "I-love-you-too-hug" or rather an "I-feel-sorry-for-you-hug"?


	5. Big Brother, Angry Brother

Finally Brendon let me go of me and looked me straight into the eye. I saw a small tear rolling down his cheek.

"I was hoping so much that you'd tell me this", he said quietly and smiled.

I felt my heart beating way too fast when I wiped his tear away. We were looking into each others eyes for a moment.

"Did you talk to Spencer about it?", I asked. This would explain his reaction earlier. If Spencer had known about Brendon's feelings, it was an explanation for his advice to talk to Brendon.

"Yeah, I really did", Brendon said and nodded, "that's probably why he told you to talk to me." I nodded too and looked out of the window because I was getting a little bit uncomfortable staring into his eyes.

"You know", he suddenly started talking, "I had a crush on you for a very long time. At first I thought you liked me, too, but then came a time where it seemed like you didn't like me at all..."

"Wait, when was that?", I interrupted him a little confused. I didn't remember this time.

"About a year ago", he said, "we were just working on Vices, so we spend a lot of time at Dallon's house. And I had the feeling that you were quite out of sorts with me."

"Oh that time", I said. He was right, this wasn't a really good time, but it had nothing to do with him. "A few days ago my last boyfriend stopped dating me back then. I don't know why but I didn't want to talk to anyone at this time. And when I thought about it later, the relationship wasn't what I wanted anyway", I explained to him.

"Oh, that's the reason. And I really thought it had something to do with me", Brendon said and smiled relieved.

We kept talking for a while about our feelings and how stupid we were because we liked each other but none of us showed it.

Then we heard noises from the outside and a look out of the window told me that the others were back. Suddenly I panicked and didn't want them to see us together. Especially because I was lying in Brendon's arms by now. So I got up and ran the few meters to the table where we were eating together. I took out my phone and tried to look like I was already sitting there for a very long time. I glanced at Brendon and he was looking at me very confused and raised his hands clueless. Just in the moment I looked back on my phone I heard the door get open.

They were all laughing so apparently lunch was very funny.

"Oh, you're awake", Dallon said when he saw me.

Then he looked over to Brendon who wasn't sitting as close to the door as me. Luckily he had also taken out his phone so nobody could guess something. But Dallon apparently did notice that the situation hasn't been like this for a very long time. I saw a small worry crinkle on his forehead. I silently prayed that he would be quiet now. And luckily he was. I would tell him later, but I didn't want the whole team to listen.

"Heeeey Brendon!", I suddenly heard shouting Zack. He was one of the team and apparently he was the general drudge, but mostly Brendon's bodyguard. And he also was one of the closest friends of the band. "You really look like you just had sex with Emma", he said and tried to look like he knew something the other's didn't. I knew it was a very bad joke but I felt how I blushed. I heard a few "uuh"'s from the other members of the team, but they were also laughing. I started to laugh too but I knew it wasn't very convincing. The only one who still was quiet, was Dallon. And he was looking even more mistrustful now.

When the others were vanishing somewhere in the bus, Spencer was sitting down next to me.

"Everything's fine?", he asked me. A look in his eyes was telling me that this wasn't just a normal question. He noticed at once that something happened between Brendon and me and now he wants to know if I had talked to him. I nodded and smiled. "Everything's fine." I tried to give my eyes the same look as he had. To show him that I understood.

"I told you", he quietly said and took out his phone, too. Then he added, even more quiet, "Happy for you two."

"Thanks", I said just as quiet as he did and really unlocked my phone now. I think I underestimated Spencer. He had done the right thing. He didn't tell anyone a secret and still managed to clear things up.

\---

We spent some time together and I had very much fun with the boys. Again, we were laughing about nearly everthing until they had to go to the soundcheck.

"Do you wanna listen?", Ian, the lead guitarist on tour, asked me. I thought about it for a moment and then shook my head.

"No, I think I'm gonna get myself something to eat", I told him. I really should do this since I didn't have lunch. He smiled and got out of the bus. My eyes were watching Brendon, who was pulling over a sweater. Then he waved and also left the bus. I thought he was the last one, when suddenly Dallon came from the back of his bus where his bunk was. He came over to me and looked kind of angry.

"I told you that he is my friend. And I thought it was clear enough for you to leave him alone", he said to me. I was shocked. He was my brother!

"I don't know what you're talking about", I tried but I knew it wouldn't help me.

"You do. The others might not have noticed anything, but you're still my sister and I have." He was getting louder. "You won't date Brendon Urie!" Then he went out of the bus to follow the others.

"Spencer noticed it too!", I shouted after him although I knew this wasn't a very good point, "and he was totally fine with it!"

I felt tears rolling down my face.


	6. "Fuck off"

Again I was lying in my bunk and staring to the top. I had cried far too much in the last two days and I didn't know when things will get easier. Somehow it already got easier because I had talked to Brendon. But Dallon...after he had just told me to leave Brendon alone, I didn't know what to do once more. Actually I could just ignore him and be happy with Brendon, but I knew this wouldn't be a great solution. Not for me, not for Brendon and of course not for Dallon. And I was sure the tension would also affect the whole team. Another solution would be that we really wouldn't date. But this was kind of stupid because Dallon wasn't my father and I wasn't underaged. In this case, maybe Dallon would be happy, but neither me nor Brendon would. It seemed like this won't be a story with a happy ending.

I decided to really get myself something to eat now. I was terribly hungry and maybe things will look easier if I wasn't crawling around in this bus all day. The boys will be back in around half an hour, so I had enough time.

Again, I was fixing my make-up, wrote a note where I was and then left the bus. With my face deep in the hood of the parka because of the rain I walked down the road. I tried to think of something different, but my thoughts always went back to Dallon and Brendon. I knew that I had to talk to them. First, I had to talk to Brendon to tell him about Dallon. Although my heart was already breaking when I only thought of telling him that we couldn't date. Second, I had to talk to Dallon, because there was a small chance to change his opinion. A very small chance.

"Excuse me?", I suddenly heard a voice from behind. I had no clue who this was, since I didn't know anyone in this town and the others were all soundchecking. A little bit confused I turned around and saw a 12- or maybe 13-year-old girl standing in front of me.

"Yeah?", I said.

"You're Emma Weekes, aren't you?", she asked me.

"Yeah, I am. What can I do for you?", I responded.

"Could we maybe take a picture together? I really like you and the boys, you know", she said and her voice was trembling a little bit. I have been asked for a picture already a few times, but it still was very awkward for me. I didn't get why someone wanted to take a picture with me. It was the boys who were famous, not me. I didn't even do something special.

"Of course. But don't be nervous, everything's fine. I'm only human, just like you", I told her as she took out her phone. Somehow I had to comfort her.

"You know", she explained, "I really like you. You're always smiling and you just seem to be so happy and nice to everyone." I thought about what she just had said when we were taking the photo. I didn't know whether to be happy that she just told me this or whether I should be wondering why she thinks this way. But I didn't have to respond, because the girl was already thanking me and saying goodbye.

"Goodbye", I also said and waved while she was already walking in the opposite direction. I stood there for a moment and looked after her, then I turned around again. I would just talk to the boys about what she just said. They probably get to hear things like this every day. Then I remembered one thing she said. 'You just seem to be so happy'. I had to smile slightly. Right now I was anything but happy.

\---

Around half an hour later I walked towards the bus again. I had an extra large burger for lunch, because why not? And I really was feeling better now. I thought that maybe everything will be okay. Maybe Dallon had thought about what he had told me earlier and would be fine if Brendon and I were dating? Maybe.

When I was just in front of the door, I heard quiet voices from behind the bus. I stopped and listened. I noticed Dallon's voice and a few seconds later also Brendon's. This couldn't mean anything good. I didn't understand a word they were saying so I slowly went around the bus. Their voices were getting louder and by now I understood every single word, so I stopped.

"I don't understand why you're so evil!", Brendon said.

Dallon's voice sounded angry. "She's my sister! And I don't want anyone to hurt her - especially not you." Now I was sure what they were talking about. Although I could actually tell from the beginning.

"I haven't even done anything in the past - why don't you trust me?", Brendon responded just as angry as my brother.

"You don't have experienced what I have a year ago", Dallon said and didn't respond to Brendon's question why he wouldn't trust him, "and I won't let this happen again." I was shocked and holding my breath. Dallon wasn't about to tell Brendon the true story, was he?

"Whatever happened back then, it won't happen again!", Brendon responded and was really shouting now. I wondered that nobody of the others came out of the bus yet. There was a small pause between them and I thought whether I should join them or not but it probably would be no good right now. Then I heard Brendon talking again, more quiet this time and I had to concentrate to understand everything.

"I really love Emma. And you are destroying everything."

A few seconds later Brendon came around the bus and stopped a moment when he saw me. His eyes were looking angry and sad at the same time.

"Brendon!", I called him, but he went on and walked away. I stared after him because he wasn't walking towards the door but in the opposite direction.

"Emma?!", I suddenly heard behind me. I turned around and Dallon was looking me straight into the eye. I looked back at him for a moment as angry as possible.

"Fuck off", I finally said and went back into the bus when I already felt tears streaming down my face. I didn't even count the times I've cried the last days anymore.


End file.
